We used to be fairly tolerant and openminded. We used to be the first to say that Dutch nationalism was something hilarious, reserved for football. We used to laugh at our neigbour with its Vlaams Blok. We used to think our culture was as ridiculous as any other culture. Thanks to the great intellectual Pim this has fortunately come to an end. Pim explained what was really going on. He liberated the oppressed masses (he after all started out as a communist), fought the left wing elite and died for his ideals. After his martyr death things really started to change. To win votes other political parties started to integrate Pim's ideas, columnists started to repeat that the Islam was destroying our culture, intellectuals declared that they had had enough of political correctness because the Truth could not be spoken. Public debates are currently dominated by heroic fighters for freedom of speech whose lives are constantly endangered.

To make yourself feel at home, you should consider adopting some of the now typically Dutch views. Feel free to spread any prejudice you might have. We do all the time. It is a new Dutch virtue to say that Islam is a backward religion. It is perfectly acceptable to snub Muslims. Do not talk to them; their culture has so deformed them that it is no use. Just look at them with contempt. You can also hold them all personally responsible for the death of that renowned philosopher who never shied away from civilised debate, Theo van Gogh, who was one of your closest friends. (Theo van Gogh was every Dutchman's closest friend). You might also like to declare that Western civilisation is superior to any other civilisation. Discipline, law and order are your favourite virtues. The police should stop fining you for speeding and start catching those assholes that make this world unsafe for your children. (there is no need to actually have children to say this, it is the idea that counts).

In need of support for your views you can buy any newspaper; the new vision is in all of them. Try to spice your xenophobia with sexism (check HP/De Tijd to see how this is done), but don't forget that blatant oppression of women is strictly a Muslim thing. Declare any kind of deeper analysis 'academic theoretical bullshit'. You do not need to think to know how you feel, right? Vent any feeling or idea you ever had; see how relieved you feel? Stick to these instructions and you will fit right in. If you preferred the good old tolerant Netherlands, please go back to your own country. You don't belong here.